Y A N K E E L O N D O N S T U D I O
Musings from a Yankee artist abroad in London...
Journal Excerpt: Amateur
(Part of my practice is stream of conscious journaling, combined with sketches and notes.)
This black and blue s#*t looks like – an amateur. What’s the definition of an amateur – I think I looked it up and it’s actually quite positive, from the French root: one who loves, lover. c. 1784.
How apt.
I will embrace that. Whatever I do actually can’t be considered by the other definition, the negative definition, I just have too much experience. Besides, it’s just the first couple layers. It’s getting over the state of the paper, so I can free myself up for something else. What was the other thing I was going to look up?
What’s going on there? Really.
Well it’s just too – depressing to erase the drawing.
So why not grab it, for myself.
What’s your matrix? Do you even have one? Of course you do – the size of paper, the medium. Your first layers are to get you started. Why are you overthinking this so much, what are you afraid of. Revealed, non?
I tried thinking of other things, but I think “Barley Haze” may be the best. What a beautiful name. Don’t think that the name had nothing with your choice! What do you think of with that name? The rustling sound of dried barley heads rubbing across each other, battered, breaking dry parchment color. Dry parchment hands like my grandmother's running across my brow. How the music makes me dive deep into free association. Is that useful? Who cares – puncture time, how do you do that? Does Foucault talk about that because it’s referred to in the Elegance of the Hedgehog. I’ve heard that phrase/ read it three times in the past 10 days. So… What am I supposed to think about? You even had your own time puncture, in drawing. Waking up. Half asleep. Time in two states is less constructed, less artificial is probably a better word choice. I wonder if that’s why people do drugs? Or lose themselves in alcohol. Time moves along whether we like it or not. Whether we want it to or not. I’ve been thinking about 1000 days, but what about the 1000 days before that? And the 1000 before? Why am I focusing on one set of 1000 days? There are at least 15,000 I think. So far. Let’s get back to puncturing time. And finding some universal “thing”.
Can you even plan for it?
Tear in half
Reconstruct
How apt.
I will embrace that. Whatever I do actually can’t be considered by the other definition, the negative definition, I just have too much experience. Besides, it’s just the first couple layers. It’s getting over the state of the paper, so I can free myself up for something else. What was the other thing I was going to look up?
What’s going on there? Really.
Well it’s just too – depressing to erase the drawing.
So why not grab it, for myself.
What’s your matrix? Do you even have one? Of course you do – the size of paper, the medium. Your first layers are to get you started. Why are you overthinking this so much, what are you afraid of. Revealed, non?
I tried thinking of other things, but I think “Barley Haze” may be the best. What a beautiful name. Don’t think that the name had nothing with your choice! What do you think of with that name? The rustling sound of dried barley heads rubbing across each other, battered, breaking dry parchment color. Dry parchment hands like my grandmother's running across my brow. How the music makes me dive deep into free association. Is that useful? Who cares – puncture time, how do you do that? Does Foucault talk about that because it’s referred to in the Elegance of the Hedgehog. I’ve heard that phrase/ read it three times in the past 10 days. So… What am I supposed to think about? You even had your own time puncture, in drawing. Waking up. Half asleep. Time in two states is less constructed, less artificial is probably a better word choice. I wonder if that’s why people do drugs? Or lose themselves in alcohol. Time moves along whether we like it or not. Whether we want it to or not. I’ve been thinking about 1000 days, but what about the 1000 days before that? And the 1000 before? Why am I focusing on one set of 1000 days? There are at least 15,000 I think. So far. Let’s get back to puncturing time. And finding some universal “thing”.
Can you even plan for it?
Tear in half
Reconstruct